Captain Jinglepants

I walked down the hall to get a soda from the machine, which is right next to the men's room, which I always thought was weird, since the last thing you want to smell as you stand there waiting on your Dr Pepper to drop is the foggy remnants of all those anonymous office dumps.So I put in my 75 cents to get a DP (drinks are 65 cents, which is unholy, but whatever), and I reach down to the hepatitis-infected slot to grab my dime when my finger finds a whole little treasure trove of silver down there. I pulled out almost a dollar in change. Either (1) somebody/-bodies used a dollar each time to purchase two drinks and didn't collect their change or (2) somebody stuck in a dollar, which the machine ate, and they walked away mad, at which point the machine, sensing victory, returned the dollar in coin form. Either way, it was a windfall for me. Winning the vending machine lottery like this has been in the back of everyone's mind since middle school, when we'd put in money and push two buttons at once and, on rare occasions, actually get two drinks for the price of one. I don't know who used the soda machine before I did, but I've got your change now, sucker. Good luck getting it back.