Like Popcorn Through A Goose

I went to college at a private religious university in the middle of the Texas desert, an experience that prepared me for a lifetime of group therapy and guilt complexes, and which turned out to be ultimately worth the social/political/religious/cinematic alienation (though just barely). Anyway, as a freshman, forced to deal with (a) being underage in (b) a town that stopped selling alcohol at 10 p.m. and (c) having to deal with a campus-imposed curfew, which was just full-on retarded — all these things added up to have a profound and dangerous effect on myself and my new friends. To wit: We kidnapped wild animals from the park. P.S. Geese really do crap just an unbelievable amount. And quickly.