His Penis Got Diseases From A Chumash Tribe

"I think my syphilis is clearing up.""And they say romance is dead." -------------------- "We need to boil those and put them through the ricer." "I don't think I have a ricer." "You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer?" "Well, do you have one at home?" "I don't know. What's a ricer?" -------------------- "It is a sham. But it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham." -------------------- "Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater!" -------------------- "You're the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?" -------------------- "I'm sorry, when you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?" "Hey! She didn't look 50!" "Did she look 16?" -------------------- "And Dad? You know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboys! Ross did!" "Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing, Monica did!" -------------------- "First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!"