Top 5 Ways "Lost" Should End

lost0423.jpg5. The Castaways dominate the Others, only to turn on themselves a la Lord of the Flies. Sawyer kills Jack and takes Kate as his bride, but their inability to conceive drives them to despair, especially since Sawyer also killed Juliet (he had issues). Everyone eventually kills each other. Hurley feeds people for two weeks. Cut to black. Roll credits. Series ends. 4. A ship comes to the island one day, and the Castaways excitedly gather on the beach and thank their respective deities for the rescue, only to realize that the ship's crew is comprised entirely of damn dirty apes. They blew it up! Those maniacs! Damn them all to hell! Cut to black. Roll credits. Series ends. 3. Never one to shy away from introducing new characters from the nameless mass of extras who were in the crash, the showrunners cave to pressure and introduce an adorable set of 8-year-old twins in the fourth season who get into life-threatening situations each week but always learn a valuable moral lesson. Everyone lives happily ever after, but at this point, no one cares. 2. I don't know, the island explodes. Black, credits, etc. 1. There's some kind of apocalyptic battle between the Castaways, the Others, and the remnants of Dharma, and it ends with either another giant purple explosion or something else not yet revealed (e.g., somebody dicks around with the magic box that makes Locke's dad and the Staypuft Marshmallow Man appear whenever you want). Anyway, there are a lot of rapid edits and things happening off screen, and then everyone just kind of disappears. They're not there anymore. It's not like they vanish right in front of us; it's more of an in-the-corners kind of thing. Fade to 50 years later, some exploratory rig charting new shipping lanes comes across the island and discovers the scattered remnants of the brief society that's since vanished. They all scratch their heads and wonder aloud, "What happened here?" Cut to black. Roll credits. Series ends.